[Sven]

Comparative Analysis of World Religious (and other) Philosophies

Taoism: Shit Happens
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit Happens"
Buddhism: If Shit Happens, it isn't really Shit
Zen (Rinzai): What is the sound of Shit Happening?
Zen (Soto): Shit just Happens
Hinduism: This Shit Happened before
Sikhism: Leave our Shit alone
Jainism: Don't accidentally swallow flies and Shit
Islam: If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah
Nation of Islam: Don't take no Shit!
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama *ding ding*
Agnosticism: Does Shit Happen?
Atheism: No Shit!
Catholicism: Shit Happens because you are BAD
Protestantism: Catholics are full of Shit
Methodism: Let Shit Happen to somebody else
Calvinism: Shit Happens because you don't work hard enough
Presbyterianism: This Shit was bound to Happen
Episcopalianism: If Shit Happens, hold a procession
Lutheranism: Shit Happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK
Anglicanism: Shit Happens, but only to Lutherans
Mormonism: Excrement Occurs
Baptist: You're Shitting all wrong, and you're going to hell for it, too
Pentacostal: Praise the Shit!
Christian Science: Shit is all in your mind
Existentialism: What is Shit anyway?
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good Shit Happening
Dadaism: Bathtub full of power tools
Jehovah's Witness: Knock knock. Shit Happens!
Televangelism: Your tax-deductable donation can prevent this Shit from Happening
Fundamentalism: There's no Shit in the Bible
Creationism: Shit has only been Happening since October 23rd, 4004 B.C.
Judaism: Why does Shit always Happen to us?
Reform Judaism: Got any laxatives?
Moonies: Only happy Shit really Happens
Wicca: Shit is part of the Goddess, too
Paganism: Shit Happens for a variety of reasons
Pantheism: It's all a bunch of Shit
Panentheism: Shit transcends us
Mysticism: This is some weird Shit
Unitarianism: Go ahead, Shit anywhere you want
Vegetarianism: If it Shits, don't eat it
Scientology: All this Happens to be Shit
Church of the SubGenius: Shit has happened. For $20 "BoB" will sell you a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT.
Discordianism: Hail Shit!
Seventh Day Adventist: No Shit on Saturdays
Amish: Shit is good for the soil
Stoicism: This Shit is good enough for me
Zoroastrianism: Shit Happens half the time
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this Shit
Voodoo: Let's stick some pins in this Shit
Twelve Step Program: Shit Happens one day at a time
Environmentalism: Shit is biodegradable
New Age: It's not Shit, it's feldspar